Summer Time!

It's summer, the clocks have changed and boy have I come a long way since I got on the site last June. I was reading something today about how society keeps us from doing what we want, and makes us behave. Yes, that was definitely me! A large part of that was my upbringing you know - and that's quite hard to escape isn't it? Maybe the only way is a heavy dose of mid-life crisis??

So, a few messages for me today - the golfer is very happy with everything and can't wait till we meet up again - me too! Just a shame it's so long, really. Also, the sailor has plans for saunas and all sorts - hope so. He's so nice - he's still not too well - hope they sort it all out for him. And still waiting to hear from the bm. He's got daughters in residence, so I know it could be hard, but hope he may appear tonight. We'll see. Can't see him till after easter - he's taking everyone up to London, including herself I guess. Still, I need to see my family too - mustn't neglect everyone all the time you know.

You know, I was thinking today about how selfish people are these days. But I don't feel like I'm being selfish at all. I've actually spent a lifetime putting everyone else first (despite what the oh says now, I know he didn't!). So I deserve to put myself first a bit, don't I? And really I'm being so careful no one finds out. And what lovely men I've got - I know they won't drop me in it. I wonder if I can just stick things out as they are - would that be such a bad thing? Would I be selfish to leave at this point? He thinks so - was very nasty when I mentioned the possibility. But he finds it so hard to communicate. I think if I ever do go, I'll just have to walk out you know. Rational discussion is totally out of the question. God, how confused am I? I do think I need to stop thinking too much and just go with the flow - yes, that's the new plan. And in that light, I'm going to go and have a lovely soak in the bath - lush. xxxxx