The Genie is Out?

You know, I read something very interesting today that really struck a chord. It was one of those smutty memoir type books - rather good actually - but she said, once she started having sex with lots of men, it was as if the genie was out of the bottle and she couldn't get it back in. That's true I think. I mean, I haven't been that bad, or for too long, but I sure don't want to go back to being good, being miserable and being frustrated. No thanks. I can see how addictive all this is. But I also feel that I really would have been happy to have been faithful if he had made any sort of an effort. Yes, we had a couple of days of being nice, and one extremely quick fuck - but that's not really enough, is it. Yes, that genie's out now - I've had a taste of the apple - naughty old me. But really, wouldn't most people have cracked years ago - certainly most men - just the old good girl programming held me back I think.

Well, today, in pursuit of the general all over improvement plan I went to the library and got some books. I got make up, dressing well, men are from mars and so on and so forth. I also got my hair done and went to top up the tan a little. Now, I know the sun is shining and so forth, but I'm sure it's not my imagination - I was getting the eye a lot more than usual. Whether this is because of the hair or whatever, or the new confidence perhaps, I don't know. And that's really the crux of it isn't it - my confidence is growing by the day - and that's a good thing. You know, I talked to my friend who split with her boyfriend not long ago (partly thanks to me) - and she now has several on the go - she finds it very empowering. Yes, it is! And it feels damned good.

You know, I may go on a visit to see her - but with the businessman. She lives somewhere he goes on business quite often - in fact in a couple of weeks, he's going. But you know, I could absolutely trust her - still wouldn't be too happy about telling anyone anything, but I may just have to. Cross that bridge later, I think. In the meantime, I'm having a quiet day, and will do some pampering tonight I think. Got a lovely few weeks planned, so need to look my best xxxx