Best Friends?

I've been for such a lovely walk - it's just so wonderful living by the sea. I was sitting watching the water, and where the sun was hitting the waves it looked like little stars dancing in the sea - better than taking drugs - don't do that anymore! No, sex is so much better, haha.

And I had a long think about everything - no conclusions I'm afraid, other than to take life as it comes really. Rushing is never a good idea is it? But I have taken myself off the site - really cannot cope with any more meetings - it's just too stressful - and I do have enough men don't I? Maybe the doc will get back in touch - I think he's cross with me, cos I admitted talking to other men - well, I only hear from him maybe once a fortnight, and we've never met, what does he expect? No, three men is more than enough - the bm, and occasionally the sailor and the golfer. Nice balance I think. And all three fabulously sexy and gorgeous - lucky me.

You know, I had a strange thought today - the one person I would really like to share this with is the one person I really can't. Cos actually, that's what we've become - best friends. And that's not a bad thing I suppose, but is it enough? You know, a couple of times I have nearly said something - got to be careful! I don't actually think I would unless I was very drunk - which I don't do anyway.

So the bm is back on Monday - will be so nice to hear from him, and it actually didn't seem as long as I thought it would. And I'm seeing him in about ten days - and overnight - hope I don't snore (yes, I do sometimes). Well, can't help it if I do - and if he likes me enough he'll find it adorable - yes, okay I know. I'm a little bit anxious what he'll say when he gets back - and honestly I kind of hope he had a horrible time with her - if he had a really brilliant time and they've decided something, then I think I have to get out. I actually don't think I could cope with that. Still carrying that torch I guess - back to what I said before - take it as it comes. xxxx