Bye, February!

Last day of february - what a month it's been. Looking back I'm not sure how I survived it honestly. It's been real highs and real horrible lows all the way. And both at work and at play - in the home and out of it - just too much really.

But you know something - I don't honestly think I've felt this alive in years. Yes, my relationship is still crap, as is my financial situation - but I'm looking forward to things and I feel happy inside a lot of the time - secretly, I grant you - but there it is. I'm looking after myself a lot more - cos I feel I have a reason to - and the biggest gain really has been in my self esteem. Now shouldn't that be more because of who you are, your professional standing and so forth? But no, mine has zoomed upwards because men still want to sleep with me - a lot. How wonderful. But I think I've taken such a knocking over the years because the oh didn't that it's come as a huge surprise really.

Work is going quiet for a couple of weeks, which may just coincide nicely with the golfer's wife taking off for a few days. If not, we'll just do the saturday, when he can do me. And my goodness, the things he wants to do to me - it's cheered me up immensely, I can tell you. Still a bit pissed off I won't see the businessman for a while - but we may be able to speak a lot more from today as his daughter is off on a trip - so he'll be home alone a lot. I must meditate and learn patience - in the meantime, I'll have other men, thank you.

I haven't heard from my dj, but I think he has a big event this week - so I didn't really expect to. I wonder if he's famous or something - I wouldn't know if he was to be honest - not really my thing - but then I do like music, so I guess we can connect about that if nothing else. Looking forward to meeting him actually - and I like where we're meeting - he doesn't sound like he'll be boring!

So, I'm spending the day doing boring things, and planning for the week - got to do well at work this week after my confidence took such a knock last week - bitch. Why are people like that - jealousy has been mentioned - hmmm - I wonder - if so, what a nice little self esteem boost actually??

So bye february, it's been .....interesting!!