Good Weekend!

I've had a great weekend, which was actually rather unexpected. I have had a couple of dark moments I guess, but I'm not unused to that. I actually thought the oh might initiate some sex this morning, but sadly it was not to be. Other than that I have been having some thoughts about the future and where I want to be in, say a year. I think not here. And suffering this horrible emotional rollercoaster all the time - no - I think I deserve better than that. But exactly what I want, well, I'm not too sure about that yet. In the meantime, I think I'll just sit back and see how things pan out. And in reality, I think I'm going to have to stick it out for a while as dd has no intention of leaving home just yet - which I was actually a little surprised at. But I guess that could change in the blink of an eye, couldn't it?

So, I re-read the rules, which seemed like a good idea as I'm getting so pathetically hung up on this guy. And the bit that helped me a lot was, that you don't owe him explanations and stuff until he loves you - until then you're just dating. True. So, in the spirit of getting on with my life, I've almost arranged to meet another guy next week, and am going to visit another in the next few weeks. I was wondering if I should blow them out actually, but you know, they're so nice and I don't want to. And according to the rules, why should I?? No, I need to keep my head screwed on here, don't you think?

But, pathetically, I am here waiting for him to come online as he promised. And I also know that I would blow them all out if he asked me to - but then he doesn't know there's anyone else, does he? But I have come off the site - well, I've asked them to take me off anyway - I just feel that's enough for now. If this all doesn't work out I could go back couldn't I?

Actually also had a lovely night last night listening to my friend's band - yes, I went on my own. It was a lovely evening and nice to hang out with some new people. I need more of that in my life - I've definitely been working too much and not having enough fun. Trouble is, everytime I think about that, you know who I want to be having all this fun with don't you - and it's not my other half. xxx