Am I French?

Feeling very good today!! Sorted out a great deal of domestic/financial hassles, so feeling both relieved and happy - go me!! Also, talked to my sailor who seems to be feeling really down - he does worry me a bit sometimes. I think what I said to him once was right though - if your oh is depressed then it is extremely infectious - so maybe it's just that. He got down to the sea to spend some time on the boat - I don't really understand why we can't meet there, but he says it's too dangerous - okay then. I don't know, I'm being really patient, but if we don't meet up by Christmas maybe my patience just won't last out. I mean, I'm doing this to have some sex aren't I - I'd go and buy a bloody rabbit if all I wanted was relief. Still, we'll see, patience.

So, I was reading this book - 'Two lipsticks and a lover' - and it would seem that the attitude of French women is very, no exactly like my own. It's honestly like I've been behaving all my life like I think I should rather than what I actually want to do! So, what it is, is that French women stay married but they accept that they won't feel the same about their husbands for ever - so they have little adventures. Well, wish I'd done it a long time ago, as I've said before. Also, they are very concerned not to embarrass their husbands - well, me too. I've seen so much of that in the little town where I live, and it never ends well. I just read a bit this morning as well, that said that French women seem to really love the penis - well what can I say - I have to say, I have had many conversations with English women, who really don't; and very many who just don't like sex at all. Strange, isn't it? In an ideal world I suppose they would be married to the men who don't like sex, but it just doesn't seem to work that way, does it? Not for me anyway.

I'm going to continue reading this book and report back, though. I find the whole thing quite fascinating, and very much like the French attitude - pragmatism I suppose. But I can't tell you how much it has all restored my confidence - I feel like I've found my old self again. Whatever will I be like when I actually have some illicit sex? But I honestly think, if I'm careful and no one gets hurt - well it's nobody's business is it? I almost don't even feel it's my oh's business, you know. After all if he'd cared enough he would have married me wouldn't he. Here I am trying to be faithful all this time and we're not even married. Sad but true. Maybe I'm just an idiot. Still, deciding to be French is definitely the way forward, I think. So if I'm going to be a mistress, or mistresses, I need to start looking after myself a little better - so I think new underwear and some pampering, don't you think? I'm worth it!! xxxx