Absence?

So I didn't hear from the bm last night - which is okay I guess - but maybe not. It does tick me off just a bit - but I'm consoling myself with the absence makes the heart grow fonder nonsense. I wonder if that's true - or if it just makes you not give a bugger. Still, can spend the weekend pampering myself and sorting out a few loose ends which need doing. Was a horrible morning, rain coming down in sheets - so we walked miles with the dog - got home soaked. Was quite exhilarating. Had sex this morning too, which was much less so.

You know, had a good chat with a dog walking mate. His wife left him a few years ago - he was telling me how he had no idea anything was wrong - but she just packed up and said, I won't be back, okay? Had another chap. Now, how on earth do I react to that? Was difficult. But I kind of admired her just doing what she wanted - but then it is easier when no kids are involved or anything isn't it? She did stitch him up in a major way over the house though - I'm not sure I could do that and live with myself - in fact I'm sure I couldn't. Wouldn't want to either.

You know, I think I've ticked off two of my guys - which is not such a bad thing really is it, I was getting a bit greedy. I saw today that the doc was online - but no message or anything. I think he's cross with me cos I told him I talked to other guys. Well, I'm not even on the site now. I also think I've upset the dj - I told him I was seeing someone else too - but I get the feeling with him he wants a serious relationship, no messing. I'm not quite ready for that yet you know. Although I think if I'm honest, that's what I hope will happen with the bm - but in the fullness of time, you know? Like the golfer so much, but there's not really that connection like there is with him. Wow, that was honest and a bit scary. But it is how I feel you know. And how ridiculous is that after such a short time. I think I need to grow a thicker skin and play a few more games - but it's not me you know. I always used to get terribly wounded by men when I was younger - this feels just the same - vulnerable. Not a pleasant place to be in truth - perhaps I need to play it all a bit more cool, hmmm?