Working on a bank holiday!

Well a bit fed up today as had to go to work while everybody else did bugger all. Never mind. Also had no contact with either of my men today - is this always how the other woman feels? I guess they have to do family things. Been feeling a bit off with the doctor today - I mean I was thinking that it really was a bit off to do all that naughty stuff and then not even a thank you !! And the more I think about it, the more I think he just didn't want to talk at all last night. I'm not sure he really is up for this, you know. Maybe I should go back on the site and meet some more men.

i was a bit put out the other week , as I met a guy and we seemed to get on well. Well he suggested meeting the next day - okay - send me a photo first. Well, silly me, I sent him one. Then he didn't send one back at all - git - next thing he can't meet me cos he's got a hospital appointment, will talk later. Then he spent all weekend online on the site (cos I looked - yes, I know, sad case) and didn't even send a message.

Well, at the time, I was reading 'He's just not that into you' which was quite brilliant. So armed with my new attitude, I blew him off when he suggested meeting about a week later. Then I got a smarmy kind of sorry you feel that way was actually busy working you know, kind of message. Well, felt a bit bad, but I'm sure I did the right thing. If he can make me feel that bad in less than a week - well, god knows what he could do in a month. And yes, he's still on there every day. Maybe I'm just not tough enough for this - maybe - ssssshhhhh - I'm actually looking for a serious relationship? Not just a bit of nooky. Well, maybe I just think too much. But I honestly do still believe men do exactly what they want to do - so if they don't call you and stuff, they don't want you, simple as that.

Take care, be good xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good and bad

Well a strange weekend - had hoped and expected to be getting shagged senseless, but of course, no such luck - wouldn't you know it, but honestly should be used to it by now, shouldn't I?? Well, you see the sailor had planned to get away on Saturday, but unfortunately as his daughter was away, his wife decided to come too - dammit. So had to weasle out of my 'I'm working' excuse in a hurry, and was rather nerve wracking. So, anyway, ended up going out for the day with oh and family, which was nice - maybe if I spend some quality time with him, he'll be less suspicious. Not that he SAYS he is, but he just seems to be sometimes, and I have lived with him a long time, so i do usually know.

Still, all is not lost, as sailor now has my mobile and sends regular messages - so sweet - and lots of really naughty emails. He told me he'd photographed his dick and did I want to see it - well of course I did - but I only have a phone type phone - may go shopping next week. However, not too sure about this photo thing - might be a bit clinical - but am veeeerrrrry curious!! He really wants to meet next week - but he thinks his oh is very suspicious for some reason - oh dear, could do without that. May just go to the big city and see if he turns up - really I don't want to waste any more time if this is not going to be worthwhile, you know. Yes, bugger it - will go shopping if he can't make it - that'll teach him!!

Otherwise, not feeling so good about the doctor. Saw he was online today and said hello - we hadn't spoken since the wonderful phone sex episode - and maybe I shouldn't have made the first move, but i did. Anyway, he seemed a bit off - and yes of course he had been feeling guilty. I can't help thinking he's not really cut out for this, you know. So tried to keep it light and friendly, but he just didn't seem to be quite there - says he'll phone tomorrow though - maybe I won't be around just to piss him off. After all he left me nearly a week - if it had been real sex i would have expected flowers and all sorts, but not speaking for a week - that's a bit cruel isn't it? Yes, I know he's busy and blah blah but for goodness sake. Maybe I'm too demanding, but I do think it's just good manners. Also, nosing around, saw he'd been on the site again, which made me feel so much better - although I do think he checks up on me sometimes - well tough shit cos I've hidden my profile. Maybe I should put it back up just to annoy him, and talk to some other guys. I do sometimes agree with the sailor, you know - he said that long distance relationships are too hard, and perhaps it would never really happen. I do think perhaps I should talk to a few more guys and keep my options open. I just got quite wounded by the whole business with lee, which perhaps I shouldn't have, as for goodness sake we only chatted for a while.

I do feel that I invest too much in these relationships before we meet, and in future, perhaps i should try for a meeting earlier - before we share all this naughty stuff - as it just gets too personal, and you don't really know if you'll get on, do you?

So essentially the situation is much the same and I'm still frustrated as hell. But hopeful about next week!! Even if feeling a bit off about my favourite man, the doctor. Maybe I just need to meet more men?

See you xxxx

Could be a very exciting weekend!

Well my goodness my email has been busy today. Me and the sailor are trying to meet up at the weekend, and he's veeeerrrry keen. Good. But at the moment, he's not sure he can get away, and quite honestly as it's the bank holiday it might be a bit ridiculous - so we shall see. He says all the right things, so I just hope he's as wonderful in person - and he likes me back - all a bit worrying, really, isnt it?

Good thing is that reading his lovely rude emails has stopped me from calling the doctor, as I am so tempted to do, but know I shouldn't!! And his emails are lovely and rude - I think he could be quite spectacular really as he is quite young (not that young) and still has quite a bit of energy by the sound of him. Just what the doctor ordered (!) Anyway, I think he's going to let me know later tonight, so fingers crossed.

Anyway the phone's on, and Thursday's often the day the doctor works late, so shan't give up on that just yet. Also got a new message on the site - but from Birmingham - sounded very witty and clever - just the type of man I love, so let's see.

Fingers crossed for the weekend.

xxx

Weekend???

Well the sailor is back with a vengeance - at least two messages a day, and definitely up to his usual standard. He was most definitely a bit off while he was on holiday, but I guess all that time with your other half can get you like that! It's interesting, but he reckons his wife knows he's up to something, so he might not be able to get away this weekend. But I did remind him that as it was bank holiday, it might be a bit ghastly anyway for travelling anywhere, so it may not be on this week, we shall see.

So from my point of view, I'm not sure whether to make an excuse and go back on it, or just make out it's a last minute arrangement if it works out - very annoying really. I guess all these little problems are part and parcel of the whole infidelity game, but I'm not very good at uncertainty. He'll probably send a message later tonight. Last time he tried to get away, she went with him, which was fine, as I couldn't make it anyway, but he's quite sure she smells a rat - maybe she should sleep with him more often than every five years then hmmmm?

Also desperately stopping myself from calling the doctor - let him call me for a change - really wanting to be pathetic and ring him and get emotional and stuff - no don't do it - therein lies madness!!! But after such a lovely evening and such amazing phone sex, it's a little hard not to hear anything for days - but that's how it is with him. Okay, I can live with that. Also still having a few quick looks on the site, and see who's doing what. I did blow out one guy the other day, but I keep checking up on him like a stalker. He's always on the site, so obviously can live without me, the rat. So, if there's nothing else to report, might tell you about him tomorrow. Take care and be good !!

Another first for me!

Well the lovely doctor rang last night, and was lovely to talk to him again after nearly a week. He has a lovely deep voice that just makes your stomach feel all peculiar, and makes me feel quite sinful!! Of course, he's been busy as always, but that's fine, cos I don't want to be one of those demanding women - not in that way anyway. He's so lovely and likes to be in charge - we talked for ages as I was alone in the house, so didn't have to be too careful. He wants to meet me somewhere public, but wants me to be dressed in a coat and nothing underneath - I think this is like a film he's seen, but I'm not sure which.

So we talked about meeting up and going to a hotel ; he wants to tie me up and torment me (in a good way) and I said that sounded wonderful. So one thing led to another and I think we had phone sex - god it was great - lucky no one was home!! And it was nice also as I was very sure that he enjoyed it too - I can't believe I don't feel more guilty about all this, but I really don't. I really really like the doctor, and I do think I'm in great danger here of falling head over heels - he's so caring and wanting to look after me. But at the same time, he's very clear about not leaving his wife, and how he doesn't want to cause any trouble (or more to the point, me to cause him any). But I do think I'm getting to him a bit, cos he hates me being on the site still, and keeps asking when I'm leaving - and I probably would have if I had figured out how! Never mind, perhaps it's not a bad thing to keep him on his toes. Would lovelovelovelovelove to meet up with him for real soon - and there's a chance it may happen soon, but I know he's really nervous that I won't fancy him and so on - silly man - I really think it's his dirty mind that I like so much.

Also have to report the return of the sailor - my other main man! He's been on a family holiday - I did suggest that maybe his wife would get in the holiday mood and give it up for once, but of course, this didn't happen. Apparently they've barely had sex for 17 years - beyond a joke really. I did read that one third of couples only have sex 10 times a year - this is what is known medically as a sexless marriage. So what would you call mine then? I dream of having sex ten times a year, and so does the sailor - but obviously to no avail!!!! However, her loss may be my gain, as he wants to meet on Saturday in the big city by the sea! He has a boat there, so an excellent excuse - however, last time he tried to get away, Mrs sailor came too - I think she thinks there's something going on !!

Just hoping now that I can get away, as my other half is very touchy at the moment - feeling neglected, and also annoyed that I've been working so much. Well, I honestly think I have to give this a go, so will see if it comes off!! If he's half as good as he says he is, it should be wonderful. He told me his wife complains that his cock's too big - well not something I'd complain about, personally!! But we shall see - if he knocks all my teeth out, then fair enough. Apparently she also moans that he wants sex too much, and (get this) it goes on for too long. Well, I was salivating by now as you can imagine - but he really felt bad about it. Poor man - he needs me. And no one's ever given him oral either. He really does sound too good to be true, doesn't he. So I guess he's going to be totally wonderful, or some sort of stalker weirdo (but I don't think so).

I should perhaps tell you a bit about myself. I'm a pretty good looking woman for my age, and most people say I look younger than I am - I'm a bit like Helen Mirren in type - blonde, bit posh, and people say that I've got a 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' look about me, which means I can get away with murder!! I'm a little heavier than I should be perhaps, but then I do have world class tits - really - despite breastfeeding my children - which I should tell you if you don't know, can be almost better than sex!!! I live in a really small town in the country - think calendar girls - and everyone knows everyone else. As you can imagine, not a great place to get up to any mischief. Everyone knows everyone's business - and I do mean everything. So I have to be careful. I don't want to be the next hot topic over the sunday lunchtime pint, thank you.

So keep your fingers crossed for me, that I can meet up with the sailor this week. Maybe I can stowaway on his boat, and he can capture me, etc, etc.......sounds great.

Take care and don't get caught xxx

What happens to women's libido when they reach 40?

So I was sitting on the bus pondering my situation and things, and I thought about how I never expected to feel like I do, ever. I guess I thought that at my age, I'd have lost interest in men and sex and all that stuff. Unfortunately for me perhaps, something entirely different has happened; I feel more interested than ever!! And I do mean ever!!! What's going on, is it just me or does this happen to lots of other women?

Well, to look at websites about sexual problems you get one picture: which is women don't want sex, and their husbands are running off with younger women (so it's their fault is the unspoken moral) OR husbands want sex desperately but have physical problems with erections and premature this and that (all of which is curable with medical science guys). What they don't talk about is women who desperately want sex, and husbands who don't want to know? Am I alone here I wondered?

Well, I don't think so, and I'll tell you why - look at the websites for married dating - nine out of ten of the women and over forty. Perhaps you could say that this means they have the time now their kids are grown up, but they obviously want more than friendship - some of them are very upfront. I really think there's almost a conspiracy here - women of my age are supposed to shut up and disappear - but there seems to be many women who want more than that. They want love, sex and hot men, and boy they want it a lot!! I've got to say I've never felt quite as into sex as I do now - and maybe it is partly because my partner is not! But I certainly wasn't multi-orgasmic until I hit forty. I wonder how many other women feel the same as me - I know for a fact a lot don't and are quite glad their husbands don't want it either - but there are many women out there looking for men - and good luck to them I say - but what a strange thing that society doesn't seem to realise this is happening. Will investigate this further I think.

Anyway, I haven't heard from any of my men for a few days - I think this is largely because of the summer holidays and excessive demands from families. That's fine. But missing my doctor friend enormously - he does talk filth like no one else!! Maybe he will phone tonight - but if not I have a new contact, which is a rather nice looking guy from a town about fifteen miles away - also divorced, so not so complicated, perhaps. So may chat to him tonight.

I was going to tell you about the doctor, because he is my oldest friend on here, and he also lives the furthest away, so we haven't met yet! Now I was in a particularly mellow mood when he appeared on my chat - otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered even replying - why? - because his spelling is appalling. Well, it's a bit snooty I suppose, but I tend to judge people by these things, but I'm so glad I didn't this time. We chatted for ages about this and that, and he told me he had a problem with spelling, so I said, no shit sherlock! Well, this went on for a few days, then out of the blue he said 'what type of sex do you like?'

Well, I took a deep breath and told him. And honestly I'd never even thought about it that much. I told him how I love a man to take control and just throw me round the bed and screw my brains out. Well, we've never looked back since then - and honestly sometimes it's been better than having real sex!! I've told him all sorts of mad things I probably shouldn't - must be the bedside manner. But the best thing is we're planning to meet very soon - very nerve wracking - and a bit mad as well. The plan is to spend the weekend together - excuses are in place, and plans made, I just hope it all works out.

Anyway, he loves me to buy stuff and tell him about it - so I've lots of new underwear now! He wants me to buy a vibrator, but I haven't been brave enough yet - well mail order might be a bit suspicious. So that's my next new thing to try - maybe a rabbit, they say they're better than anything! So going to check my messages now, to see if this new man is there - very promising and very close - and wow rather tall and dishy - I like tall, my other half is rather short, and as you now know, I do like a man who can throw me all round the bed, and I'm no fairy, you know. Or maybe the lovely doctor will be about - what a treat!

Well this is another first for me !!

Well hello and welcome to my blog. I'm not quite sure where to start, so I'll just dive right in - I'm a very normal, really very happy and successful woman. I've raised my kids well, and got a great job, but hey, you knew this was coming didn't you - all is not well. You see, for some time, my husband and I have had a very very limited sex life, partly perhaps because he is a fair bit older than me, so perhaps that's my own stupid fault. Anyway, to cut a long story short, after perhaps five years of being reasonable, understanding, angry, pissed off, frustrated, etc, etc, you get the idea, I've decided that this is just how it's going to be from now on.



So after one particularly horrible comment from other half, I went and sulked upstairs, and signed into a website for people looking for some extra marital naughtiness. Well, what a revelation that was!! All these men, looking for sex - well perhaps not that surprising - but so many; and also so many frustrated women looking for the same. Interesting, I thought. It really seemed that the whole world was at it, and more importantly, getting away with it. So, I thought, why not me?



I signed in - without a photo in my underwear or other evidence that I had completely lost my mind. Of course, I knocked five years off my age - why not? And waited for the propositions to start - well, boy did they start!! Some were immediate write-offs I'm afraid, and I'm sorry to be so judgemental, but if they looked weird, or sounded weird, then forget it. Also, if they were very young then, tempting as it might be to re-live some lost youth thing, sorry, but no. I was immediately struck though by how well to do most of these guys are - you know lawyers, doctors, and an awful lot owned their own business as well. I have to say right off here that I have a horrible prejudice against people who can't spell - however, I'm so glad I let my guard down over this particular thing, as one of my favourite men found his way past this one. I'll tell you more about him later.


So, I started talking to these guys - they can send you virtual kisses - and I got loads of them - but I soon got a bit more discerning. If they'd taken some real trouble over what they said then they got an answer. Most of them were really not looking to leave their wives - fine with me - but just desperately missing sex. Sure, they talk about intimacy and feeling loved and all that, but you know they just want someone to shag them until they're sick really, don't they?


I did soon find it was a bit of a full time job, though, and you can't talk to everyone. But my goodness it was a tonic, and I'd recommend it to anyone, really!! And it was also nice to find that so many other people were in the same boat as me so to speak. I had researched 'loss of libido' and all that sort of thing for absolutely ages on the internet, but really most sites just talked about women - they all seemed to agree that it didn't happen to men - well excuse me, go on these websites and I think you'll find otherwise, mate.


So that's how it all began. I did want to explain what brought me here, because I'm not a cheater by nature - but I could visualise all my life stretching out in front of me, and no sex, ever!!! No!! And boy I've tried to live without it, I've tried doing other things to not think about it, but honestly guys, there's nothing like it, is there?


So that's it, my first post! Would love to hear your comments, good, bad or indifferent. I think this is going to be fun!