Thinking!

I've been thinking about my life - really, really thinking. And it really has become impossible for me to stay here. This relationship I'm in is toxic, really really damaging. And if I stay, I think there's every chance I might wind up dead like my friend did. I'm fed up with someone trying to control me all the time, telling me I'm not good enough, boring, fat and so on. No, it's not good enough. And you know, I really don't care what people think of me any more either.

I am feeling like I have a million and one things to deal with before I can go - but then most of these things are just that, things. It's all about possessions and not wanting to leave them. And how sad is that - that's what it's become. And after being accused of only wanting money, I'm buggered if I'm going to let worrying about things stop me. No, I'm going - however I have to do it, I'm getting out.

And I have my American waiting in the wings who wants to look after me. Could I really be this lucky?? Well, why the hell not. xx