Reading

I'm still fairly addicted to reading about the sad thing that is the sexless marriage - I know, there's not rhyme or reason and I'm going round in circles. But I did read something so interesting today. It was about the refuser (of sex) and how they won't join in with the trying to do something about it at all. Now, boy, have I been there?? I think I've spent about ten years of my life trying to do something so that I would be worthy of loving. Mind you, a lot of that is good and useful stuff to carry me forward. A lot is not. You know, the waxing, the losing weight, the bloody tanning sessions and the underwear - and boy, all those fantastic meals waiting for the microwave to finally ruin them.

Well, I've made my peace with the sad case I was - and I'm not doing it any more. Now, this is the exact moment the refuser decides to try isn't it?? And yes, it's true! Do they realise the ultimate parting of the ways is looming, or what? He's trying to be nice, he's cooking, he's even trying to have sex!!!!! But I just can't be bothered. Anyway, he's not trying that hard to be honest - he came home from the pub yesterday afternoon and slept all evening on the sofa and then all night in bed - what, over fourteen hours!! I used to hate that pub and want to burn it down - but I'm glad he goes now, cos at least I don't have to watch him sleep any longer than that!

But, on a serious note - I just know that when the final conversation happens, and I leave, he'll promise to try harder - I know it!!!! But it's too damn late - and it was over a year ago. Last June was when I signed up on the site, and I've come too far now. And I honestly don't care if he does smoke and drink himself to death now - bring it on!! That maybe sounds harsh, but being ignored for decades will do that to you! My guy thinks he's an idiot, and I'm not sure I don't agree. xxx